Alicecrock o'jaberwokie

Just been to see the new Alice in Wonderland and thought I'd share a few thoughts:

`Twas brill, and the silly tale
 
was dyre and bimbled in the Middle:

All whimsy were the otherfails,
 
And the none as got the tale.


"Beware the Alicecrock, my son!
 
The bore t'fight, the point t'catch!

Beware the red head bird, and shun
 
The funnyless story snatch!"

We took the 3D warpin specs in hand:
 
Long time the maxim o'Burton sought
So rested we by the humdum be,
 
And sat awhile in thought.

And, as if in chocolate factory stood,
 
The JonnyDepp, with eyes of vacant fame,
And character though just as good,
 
Why must it always be the same!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
 
The first half it went snicker-snack!

He knocked 'em dead, and with whit he said
but the second half umph did lack.

"And, as I've seen the Alicecrock
 
Come to my side, look for my joy!

O it lost its way! clever long the way!'
 
I chortled in less joy.


`Twas brill, and the silly tale
 
was dyre and bimbled in the Middle:

All whimsy where the story sails,
 
but wait 'til disc on sales

I'm no literary genius but hopefully some will have reckognised that this was supposed to be in the style of the Jaberwokie.

Fetal Delinquent

Today the copilot and I entered the next phase of the rest of our life.....we entered the second trimester!! And this milestone is heralded in by the occurance of possibly the scariest appointment of our life.....the twelve week scan.

And before I say any more I'll cut to the chase and share the pictures otherwise I know both our mums will fail to read the rest of the post, they'll skip past looking for the pictures so here
it is:






So why is this so scary I hear you cry, after all it is the wonderful moment when you get to see your new baby for the first time, and that is very true and it is wonderful in every way. But it is also the most terrifying, clostraphobia inducing panic and run to the airport to get on a one way flight to rio scary because it is the paradim moment when everything changes, your consciousness shifts and it all becomes real and official. WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!

Up until that point it was perfectly possible to be chugged to bits but at the same time in blissful ignorance of the true inormaty of it all. After all, up until now it was just a reading on a pee stick (no problem) bigger boobs (bonus) and the Co-pilot getting a little more portly around the middle (a rich vien of pie eating jokes aplenty). All very real, all very excitting but nothing ground breaking and earth shattering.

But now, now you've seen the little blighter, seen it move and riggle on screen. Now it's real, now you know it's there. And now you can't unknow it's there either. Now we are going to be parents!!

Deep breathes, concontrate on breathing in and out. In and out.

So what was it like. It was fantastic, there were wires and TV screens everywhere, lubrcant jelly, sensor and 'probes'. All very clinical, and all very cool. The Co-pilot gas been told to drink lots of water and we arrived we her busting for the loo. And one thing we have learnt from the whole thing is that our first born is already a hyper active, camera shy akward little so and so. The sonar opperatpr tried this way and that way (and another way that looked rather invasive) to get that classic babyshot image but to no avail, peanut just kept turning over and turning away. She even got CP to go for a week to empty the bladder a bit, jump up and down and cough to try and giggle her about but peanut was having none of it. Each time the sonar locked on and it looked like she was lining up to launch the topedos (take a picture) peanut would riggle, turn or in one case jump our of view.

But the success!!! She got a radar lock on peanut and we were all thrilled as peanut had been out foxed and appeared to be rolling toward us as..... She stuck her toung out and gave us the finger right of queue for the picture taking:


I kid you not, it looked exactly like that was what was happening and even the sonar opperator admitted with a laugh that that was of fact her finger...and yes she did have her toung out. And so there you have it. Our kid isn't even born and already it's a rebel delinquent.

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Technosubway

A staple lunchtime deit of many an expat in the Sandpit is Subway, especially if you wanted to stand any chane of avoiding the expanding wasteline on offer from KFC, MaccyD or good old Bombay Cowpatty.

Well here in Sydney the subway is that little bit more cool and techphile with it's electronic self service touch screen ordering system


You simply press pictures of what you want (bread or wrap, filling, salad bits, sauces etc) rather than some semi comatosed zombie with broken englysh frowning his way through your order and then making exactly what he thinks you probably want least.

But there is a problem with this cool and rather funky gimick, I saw no buttons on there to allow you to specify which order you want the bits assembled in nor is there a button to engage a North Paisley accent and shout "TOORSTED!!" at it. Oh well Ashley, guess you'll have to stick to MegaMaul.

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Secret messages

They say that sometimes secret messages are hidden in advertising.....I think the Muslim fundementalists might be teamed up with the meat companies



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Who's mate??!!

Walking through Coles this evening we came across the 'specialist and forign food section' and too pit delight they had what appeared to be Marmite (veggiemite just isn't even close). But what's this? The name is all wrong! What's going on?




It looks like the right stuff so we went for it, but it did feel disconcerting for the poor expat to find it looks right but might not be....and after Dubai one tends not to trust things that look not quite right.

But they other joy after Dubai is fresh produce that hasn't been air freighted and bananas that are YELLOW!!




Not green as they are in the Sandpit. But enough of why Australua is better....


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Pregnancy Brain

Mr Bailey quite often made much merriment and mirth about his wifes loss of intelligence during pregnancy which he termed 'pregnancy brain'. Now my good lady wife has maintained that she doesn't suffer such an affliction, and I've been unable to argue one way or the other mainly becuase, as anybody who knows the co-pilot will be well aware, a conversation with CP can be a fairly random and tangental experience at the best of times.

Well today I had a telephone call which left me in no doubt and it went something like this:

CP: Hello
Me: Hello, what can I do for you?
CP: I have a question.
Me: OK, what's that?
CP: Its.... Erm....oh, I don't remember
Me: (giggle) what?
CP: Erm.… I don't remember why I called
Me: ok, I can't really help you then can I?
CP: No, you can, if I could just remember what I was calling about.....I was writting a shoping list, maybe it's something to do with that....did you need any shopping?
Me: erm (giggling) I don't think so
CP: oh, in that case it's probably nothing to do with that then
Me: no, maybe not
Erm…
Erm…
Erm…
Erm…
CP: what was it then?
Me: I have no idea, would you like to call me back when you remember?
CP: Nooooooo what I'd like is to remember what it was.....
Me: but you might remember if you hang up
CP: yeah I might.......but I don't even know what it might be about
Me: Maybe it will come to you if…
CP: Oh, I remembered "did I remember to email you the medical report to print"?
Me: (perplexed) erm…no, what did that have to do with the shopping list?
CP: What? Nothing, why?
Me: No reason, so are you going to send me the email
CP: what email…oh yes, I'll send it now
Me: Ok, love you etc

So base on the above what do you reckon, pregnancy brain?




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Sydney wide bring and buy

The copilot and I had thought that maybe Sydney had one of the highest eviction rates coupled with the harshest landlords when we started noticing an ever growing number of pikes of abandoned furniture on the streets. We have since learned that twice a year the local have a big collection of unwanted stuff where people can put our all the 'rag and bone' and it will be collected free of charge.

However it has been some time since deposition commenced and still we've seen no sign of official collection. However, over the weekend we saw a mass act of recycling and reuse that would put a small glow of pride into the heart of even the most hardened tofu knitting bunny higher. A mass bring and buy as you saw people driving past or walling by eyeing up what people had left out (usually out of the corner of their eye while prentending not to be). Then as time went on people got more and more brassen about it and you had Utes crawling around and stopping to load up on another mans treasure.



And yes, the pykie in my got the better of me and I will admit to grabbing a baby changing table.....and a tool chest.....but they were really clean and good as new!! Louise would have been proud.

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