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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Label maker
One for a friend of mine who has a love of labelling things, and the amusement of his mildly rebellious wife. Thing this would one to label 'humourous advert paraphanalia':
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Struth and cricky bonzer mate!!
While walking across the car park we came across the MONSTER which and strung a web. But not a subtle little web in a corner. No, sir this is a monster Aussie spider, it's web was across the gap between to traffic signs!!
The spider is about the size of a ladies hand (unless you are an especially butch woman of course) and given the size of the web i presume he must be hunting kangeroos!!
If was a braver man, like Steve Erwin, I'd have stuck my finger up it's bum then wrestled it into a headlock!!
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The spider is about the size of a ladies hand (unless you are an especially butch woman of course) and given the size of the web i presume he must be hunting kangeroos!!
If was a braver man, like Steve Erwin, I'd have stuck my finger up it's bum then wrestled it into a headlock!!
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You just wouldn't!!
This post requires very little explanation:
No mater how despirate you got while walking around Warrangah Mall, you just wouldn't let them near your nads with a laser now would.
...I expect you to die Mr Bond springs to mind!!
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No mater how despirate you got while walking around Warrangah Mall, you just wouldn't let them near your nads with a laser now would.
...I expect you to die Mr Bond springs to mind!!
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Text message discussion
Just after Imogen and I found out we were pregnant (or immy is pregnant and I am panicking) we went off the see Imogens friend Fran up in Scotland while we were there we were 'exposed' to a wealth of pregnancy books from Fran's collection.
At this time we hadn't been to the doctors yet and so didn't know how far along we were. And so we proceeded to adopt the approach of all the best Internet hypercondricat and started with the symptom list for each week of the pregnancy.
For your amusement here is the SMS conversation that went back and to between us and my mum:
Us: Mum. We've been reading pregnancy books (only the first few chapters) and based on the symptoms described (and we hadn't realised many of them were related to pregnancy) we think it is quite possible (ie scarily possible) that imogen is already 12 weeks gone!! Please tell me we are being silly!!
Mum: it not very likely if she took her pill right u can count from wen she stopped pill or last day of cycle
Us: Erm....a lot of the symptoms indicate would have concieved around Nov last year....when she was quite ill with a chest infection and so put on a course of superstong anti-biotics....which apparently stop the pill working. There are an alarming number of the symptoms that don't just match but match to time in the time line when either of us have noticed them occuring.....I reallyscared now
Mum: wot u count from is last day of last monthly and usually knock of 2 weeks cos it is usual to get caught in second week
aw bless no point worryin now it done-that is true bout meds they do stop pill workin-but usual t go by last monthly until u have scan nothing can be sure
Us:Immy hasn't really had a proper period since Nov, only bits of bleeding ( or quite possibly spotting as the books calll it) but we just put it down to stress and moving about...also pot belly been growing for the last two weeks, I commented at least three times in the last two weeks about her nipples changing colour and shape (apparently, can't imagine I would be so insensitive). Mood swings, tiredness, dizzyness I the last week....the list goes on
Mum: lol its lookin good! a few weeks is now gonna make much difference it happened now! shut the book till u seen a doc and have more idea
Us:AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!! You were supposes to tell us not to be silly and that we had it all wrong!!
Mum: i am Laffin now! its good t be further on means your over a tricky part-and not so long t wait! just wait till u seen doc nothin u can do bout it-will happen wen it ready no matter how many books u look at
Us: I'm going to text somebody else now, your advice ISNT helping me sleep....in fact your eagerness to have this happen sooner is worrying!! Now, where's Bob's number....
Mum: lol HAHAA heehe no more worryin u will have enough sleepless nights soon!
Us:
Mum: lol no! your not in dubai now tlk weeks t get t see doc GO T SLEEP
Us:Bloody UK, Imogen could have given birth by then!!!
Mum: LOL the way u 2 are wizzing thru the book and changing your dates she could well do!
Us: This is definatly NOT part of the plan!!
Us:you cope with detour u always say it just a different way round so go with the flow a few weeks not gonna make a lot of difference at the end of it all she will be glad it over sooner all u can do is wait an see!
Us: Will you go away, we are try to sleepy and you are keeping my pregnant wife awake!
Grandma'
Mum: lol i just thinkin i got less time t knit! daddy
At this time we hadn't been to the doctors yet and so didn't know how far along we were. And so we proceeded to adopt the approach of all the best Internet hypercondricat and started with the symptom list for each week of the pregnancy.
For your amusement here is the SMS conversation that went back and to between us and my mum:
Us: Mum. We've been reading pregnancy books (only the first few chapters) and based on the symptoms described (and we hadn't realised many of them were related to pregnancy) we think it is quite possible (ie scarily possible) that imogen is already 12 weeks gone!! Please tell me we are being silly!!
Mum: it not very likely if she took her pill right u can count from wen she stopped pill or last day of cycle
Us: Erm....a lot of the symptoms indicate would have concieved around Nov last year....when she was quite ill with a chest infection and so put on a course of superstong anti-biotics....which apparently stop the pill working. There are an alarming number of the symptoms that don't just match but match to time in the time line when either of us have noticed them occuring.....I reallyscared now
Mum: wot u count from is last day of last monthly and usually knock of 2 weeks cos it is usual to get caught in second week
aw bless no point worryin now it done-that is true bout meds they do stop pill workin-but usual t go by last monthly until u have scan nothing can be sure
Us:Immy hasn't really had a proper period since Nov, only bits of bleeding ( or quite possibly spotting as the books calll it) but we just put it down to stress and moving about...also pot belly been growing for the last two weeks, I commented at least three times in the last two weeks about her nipples changing colour and shape (apparently, can't imagine I would be so insensitive). Mood swings, tiredness, dizzyness I the last week....the list goes on
Mum: lol its lookin good! a few weeks is now gonna make much difference it happened now! shut the book till u seen a doc and have more idea
Us:AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!! You were supposes to tell us not to be silly and that we had it all wrong!!
Mum: i am Laffin now! its good t be further on means your over a tricky part-and not so long t wait! just wait till u seen doc nothin u can do bout it-will happen wen it ready no matter how many books u look at
Us: I'm going to text somebody else now, your advice ISNT helping me sleep....in fact your eagerness to have this happen sooner is worrying!! Now, where's Bob's number....
Mum: lol HAHAA heehe no more worryin u will have enough sleepless nights soon!
Us:
Mum: lol no! your not in dubai now tlk weeks t get t see doc GO T SLEEP
Us:Bloody UK, Imogen could have given birth by then!!!
Mum: LOL the way u 2 are wizzing thru the book and changing your dates she could well do!
Us: This is definatly NOT part of the plan!!
Us:you cope with detour u always say it just a different way round so go with the flow a few weeks not gonna make a lot of difference at the end of it all she will be glad it over sooner all u can do is wait an see!
Us: Will you go away, we are try to sleepy and you are keeping my pregnant wife awake!
Grandma'
Mum: lol i just thinkin i got less time t knit! daddy
Ferry cross the habour...a Manly journey
Well immy and I have found a leased a house in Sydney and finally moved in the day before yesterday. There are a few (hundred) 'glitches' with the place but as everybody else seems resigned to accept "this is Sydney, all the houses are line that". I guess it's also possible that we have Been spoilt living in Dubai where everything is brand new and "redefining new standards in luxury and comfort". But still, his is a house that has just 6 power socks in the entire house, a gas water heaterthat looks like something out of a Terry Gilliam movie and a roach investation that Tim Burton would doubt make a film about.
Still, it's a house, it has a spare room for peanut AND another for visitors. And once the exterminators have been to kill the sqaters and our container arrives with our stuff I'm it will all seem much nicer. In the meantime we'll just have stiffen our English upper lip, grin and bear it (what what) and remember that out here in the colonies one has to expect to suffer a little.
And at the end of the day at least I am not living in the UK, I'm not suffering Dubais arogancy and I am currently sitting on the Manly ferry on my way home to my beautiful wife, looking out at the sun going down behind this view:
As Bernard Matthews would say......B'utiful!
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Still, it's a house, it has a spare room for peanut AND another for visitors. And once the exterminators have been to kill the sqaters and our container arrives with our stuff I'm it will all seem much nicer. In the meantime we'll just have stiffen our English upper lip, grin and bear it (what what) and remember that out here in the colonies one has to expect to suffer a little.
And at the end of the day at least I am not living in the UK, I'm not suffering Dubais arogancy and I am currently sitting on the Manly ferry on my way home to my beautiful wife, looking out at the sun going down behind this view:
As Bernard Matthews would say......B'utiful!
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Saturday, February 13, 2010
Week 9
Peanut is still growing and is becoming a hard lump. She is not sticking out most of the time, only when I have wind. Apparently she is now the size of a green olive or about 2.5cm long. This week according to the books she has officially graduated from an embryo to a fetus. I would say that is a good mile stone.
This week we have moved house and then discovered that the place is infested with German Cockroaches. The estate agent has been feeling a pregnant womans wrath this week. When the woman who answered the phone said "what do you want me to do about it DARLING!" I could have reached down the phone and throttled her there and then. Fortunately a slightly more sympathetic colleague phoned me back and made some sensible suggestions of how to get rid of the buggers until the pest people come round.
Back to peanut. I wonder if getting stroppy with the estate agent counts as having mood swings, occasionally being unreasonable and easily upset? How can the people who write pregnancy books be so right all the time? I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE CRAVINGS! Only I did want to vomit when lamb burgers and salad were suggested but suddenly had to have prawn crackers. One minute I really like a particular food and the next minute I can't stand it. Keep up YBOD!
I am still feeling quite tired and really struggle to get out of bed in the morning. If I do get up early I can't make it through the day without a Nana nap. I also have found that since the first month I don't ever really get hungry for a particular food. I eat because I have to and if I don't eat really regularly I smells make me feel sick. I have the most wicked sense of smell, I can even smell soap and rubber. I can smell book shops! Who can smell those. I bet there are a whole load of envious book worms out there who just wish they could smell out a book shop or a library. Having an amazing sense of smell can also bring its own problems. When I need to eat (as I say I don't get hungry) smells make me feel sick. A good one today was we couldn't go to a cafe because it smelt of coffee and soap. I had to run out of a car shop because of the smell of rubber. It would be good if I could put my super sense of smell to good use, like a superhero, but I have yet to find a practical use for it yet other than to annoy YBOD by not being able to go to this shop, and I can't eat there it smells funny.
I can't believe that something that is only 2.5cm long can take charge of your body so readily. It seems quite unfair really. Since moving to Oz and walking up hills everyday and having no car, so you have to walk everywhere I have got thinner, although you wouldn't notice because at the rate I have got thinner something has expanded to fill the gap. How rude. At the moment I just feel I look fat rather than pregnant. I am just waiting for someone to tell me I am fat. As another dear friend of mine, who is also pregnant at the moment finds I have a very short fuse and am easily enraged. Some people would claim there is no change there. Shut up YBOD. And no saying "My tubby wife," cheeky monkey. I wanted to say something rude then. Being pregnant has made me want to say the most foul words out loud. Fortunately I am still sane enough to curb that particular craving.
It seems amazing that I am growing this thing inside me and that I have to be responsible for feeding it all the right things to make sure it grows well. I am scared of getting fatter, even though I know it will be baby to a certain extent. I all of a sudden feel like I have to be a real grown up. I keep asking YBOD if he wants the baby and he says that now he knows I am growing one he would be sad if it wasn't there anymore. I will just have to try and grow it well. Hopefully we may be able to go and see a doc soon to check how things are going. I just like to have my mind put at rest.
YBOD, you are not allowed to talk to any pregnant women about how much things stretch, especially with actions. Its not funny.
This week we have moved house and then discovered that the place is infested with German Cockroaches. The estate agent has been feeling a pregnant womans wrath this week. When the woman who answered the phone said "what do you want me to do about it DARLING!" I could have reached down the phone and throttled her there and then. Fortunately a slightly more sympathetic colleague phoned me back and made some sensible suggestions of how to get rid of the buggers until the pest people come round.
Back to peanut. I wonder if getting stroppy with the estate agent counts as having mood swings, occasionally being unreasonable and easily upset? How can the people who write pregnancy books be so right all the time? I TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE CRAVINGS! Only I did want to vomit when lamb burgers and salad were suggested but suddenly had to have prawn crackers. One minute I really like a particular food and the next minute I can't stand it. Keep up YBOD!
I am still feeling quite tired and really struggle to get out of bed in the morning. If I do get up early I can't make it through the day without a Nana nap. I also have found that since the first month I don't ever really get hungry for a particular food. I eat because I have to and if I don't eat really regularly I smells make me feel sick. I have the most wicked sense of smell, I can even smell soap and rubber. I can smell book shops! Who can smell those. I bet there are a whole load of envious book worms out there who just wish they could smell out a book shop or a library. Having an amazing sense of smell can also bring its own problems. When I need to eat (as I say I don't get hungry) smells make me feel sick. A good one today was we couldn't go to a cafe because it smelt of coffee and soap. I had to run out of a car shop because of the smell of rubber. It would be good if I could put my super sense of smell to good use, like a superhero, but I have yet to find a practical use for it yet other than to annoy YBOD by not being able to go to this shop, and I can't eat there it smells funny.
I can't believe that something that is only 2.5cm long can take charge of your body so readily. It seems quite unfair really. Since moving to Oz and walking up hills everyday and having no car, so you have to walk everywhere I have got thinner, although you wouldn't notice because at the rate I have got thinner something has expanded to fill the gap. How rude. At the moment I just feel I look fat rather than pregnant. I am just waiting for someone to tell me I am fat. As another dear friend of mine, who is also pregnant at the moment finds I have a very short fuse and am easily enraged. Some people would claim there is no change there. Shut up YBOD. And no saying "My tubby wife," cheeky monkey. I wanted to say something rude then. Being pregnant has made me want to say the most foul words out loud. Fortunately I am still sane enough to curb that particular craving.
It seems amazing that I am growing this thing inside me and that I have to be responsible for feeding it all the right things to make sure it grows well. I am scared of getting fatter, even though I know it will be baby to a certain extent. I all of a sudden feel like I have to be a real grown up. I keep asking YBOD if he wants the baby and he says that now he knows I am growing one he would be sad if it wasn't there anymore. I will just have to try and grow it well. Hopefully we may be able to go and see a doc soon to check how things are going. I just like to have my mind put at rest.
YBOD, you are not allowed to talk to any pregnant women about how much things stretch, especially with actions. Its not funny.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Growing a peanut
Well here I am about to enter week 8. I am feeling good and a lot less tired than in the first month. In the first few weeks I could sleep for Europe and felt car sick. We went to the doctor in Dubai who confirmed that I was pregnant and did all the necessary tests to confirm everything was okay. I had a scan and they dated the pregnancy at 5 weeks and 5 days and this is when we decided that our baby looked like a peanut and the nick name was born.
So much has happened since finding our I was pregnant. In the same week 2 other friends in Dubai confirmed they were also expecting. This is pretty impressive as out of four couples everyone is now pregnant with only a couple of months between first and last to drop. So congratulations to all the girls and boys keep up the good work. Although I am sure the past master fathers are probably doting/worrying/panicking far less than Peanuts dad (and I'm sure Jeremy).
Since being in Dubai and saying goodbye to our friends properly we have now moved to Australia. The exciting news this week is that we have found a house. This weekend we are going to move in, although our container still hasn't cleared customs which leaves us sort of furniture and appliance less. I am sure we can cope.
Anyway, I am way off topic. I was supposed to be talking about being pregnant and growing Peanut. I worry every day that I might have imagined her but my body keeps doing weird things like growing the most enormous and firm boobs you have ever seen. I swear they get bigger by the day. Fortunately the post Christmas pudding belly is gradually disappearing as we have to walk everywhere and have been doing our best to eat healthily. The good news is I look less pregnant now than I did at Christmas. I am also less breathless this month and I have finally stopped snoring. Yippee. As this is not very lady like and most embarrassing.
I have been having quite a few headaches which I did find put me in bed on a few occasions. I have started having caffeinated drinks in moderation again and haven't had a single headache since. Who said giving up caffeine was good for you.
I will keep you posted on how things go but so far so good and we still have a long way to go. I can't wait to reach week 12 and have another scan to check all is okay. Steven says I am a hypochondriac as I worry all the time.
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So much has happened since finding our I was pregnant. In the same week 2 other friends in Dubai confirmed they were also expecting. This is pretty impressive as out of four couples everyone is now pregnant with only a couple of months between first and last to drop. So congratulations to all the girls and boys keep up the good work. Although I am sure the past master fathers are probably doting/worrying/panicking far less than Peanuts dad (and I'm sure Jeremy).
Since being in Dubai and saying goodbye to our friends properly we have now moved to Australia. The exciting news this week is that we have found a house. This weekend we are going to move in, although our container still hasn't cleared customs which leaves us sort of furniture and appliance less. I am sure we can cope.
Anyway, I am way off topic. I was supposed to be talking about being pregnant and growing Peanut. I worry every day that I might have imagined her but my body keeps doing weird things like growing the most enormous and firm boobs you have ever seen. I swear they get bigger by the day. Fortunately the post Christmas pudding belly is gradually disappearing as we have to walk everywhere and have been doing our best to eat healthily. The good news is I look less pregnant now than I did at Christmas. I am also less breathless this month and I have finally stopped snoring. Yippee. As this is not very lady like and most embarrassing.
I have been having quite a few headaches which I did find put me in bed on a few occasions. I have started having caffeinated drinks in moderation again and haven't had a single headache since. Who said giving up caffeine was good for you.
I will keep you posted on how things go but so far so good and we still have a long way to go. I can't wait to reach week 12 and have another scan to check all is okay. Steven says I am a hypochondriac as I worry all the time.
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